Zhebin♥,

The King

Clarence Poh Zhe Bin 17,
Landed in this world on 23 Dec 1992,
Purple is the word, Number 9 is call.
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I felt that night, on the stage, incredibly close to everything in the universe, but also extremely alone. I wondered, for the first time in my life, if life was worth all the work it took to live. What exactly made it worth it? What’s so horrible about being dead forever, and not feeling anything, and not even dreaming? What’s so great about feeling and dreaming?
— Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close

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Saturday, April 18, 2009

2dae went to meet xiaopao..liang dua him.Zzz.. dn aft tt went hm and dn went dwn to balled. tts seems boring rite. but at least i plaed well 2dae..but....

i tolerate you alot. but mayb u jus didnt realise. u said i wanted to break wit u long ago. but one thing i am sure is i am serious in this relationship and tot of lasting.how did you even thought of me wanting to break with u long ago? but how are we gonna last wit e way u are treating mi. mayb u didnt realise that u hurt mi?dun u find it weird that u call him "gan laogong" and u ask mi dun jealous..if i dun jealous. it shows that i dun care. but i do..
ur msges . it tells mi
1.u dun really bother to reply.
2.u jus reply for e sake of replying.
i dunnoe whether u gt save as template not. but ur favorite msg to me is usually "lol" "yar" "-.-" of mayb " nope." dun u realli hav anything to tell me. ? mayb i negelected you?but when i neglect u . dun u feel anything. ?if u dun ..dun u find something wrong? but if u really do. why dun u sae something.
u tell mi . u dunnoe whether he is more impt dn mi to you or not. this makes mi feel that i am almost nth compared to him.(mayb i am realli nth) although i hav e status . and i am e most recently one . and he has been yrs ago .and mayb i cant realli capture ur whole heart. and i dunnoe how to. i am sry..
mayb u dunnoe comin across to this type of question. idk is a negative answer..so make an effort to consider other ppl feelings before doin any action. esp . ur stead.someone hu is prepared to b by ur side no matter wad happens. be it happiness or sadness, but here again. i am still glad tt u are truthful to me.
whats gone is gone, i wont regret.. because i gave 100% into this relationship. and i really Loved u that time, but is all past now . thers 1st try 2nd try . 3rd try?i realli dunnoe. anyways. jus take good care of urself..coz i dun tink i realli hav any chance to takecare of my princess anymore. and i hav said wadeva i wanted to sae out..

i noe u have something to say. jus say out.

遠走高飛
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my reply:

it hurts. my heart really break when i see this. i've got nothing to say. from what you've said i really knew that im a lousy girlfriend.
1. i cant spare any thoughts for you.
2. i cant spare any time for you.
3. i cant spare care and concerns for you.
but you only know how to say out your feelings. do you know whats inside me?? i may seems to joke around laugh around or what so ever. but do you know whats deep inside it??

firstly, do you know why i said that you wanted to break with me long ago?
for the past few days, dont you think you've neglect me? everytime im the first to msg you or first to call you. did you even bother to msg me first or call me first? i dont know?? i really dont know. whenever i msg you, you're either with your friends or playing basketball or having training. have you ever think about it?? and when your friends ask me, wheres zhebin?? my ans is how would i know or i dont know?? cause you never even tell me anything.

sencond, as for ck, my gan laogong. he is so so so so long ago. before we patch back he is already my gan laogong. and you knew that. do you know that during the period of time when we stead, me and ck never talk at all, never meet each other and never msg each other? because i knew you will jealous because of him. when im with you, i went down bc always alone, did you see ck around me? the ans is no ok! before im with you me and ck is always with each other did you realise it?

thirdly, my msges. yesterday i replied you that way cause im pissed. sorry for not telling you.
if you realise. whenever i replied lol and =.= only if i got nothing to say. and i wanted to continue msging so i replied lol and =.= instead of stop replying you. dhen when i replied that you would stop replying me. when you are asking me a question, of course i would replied yar or nope.

also , about him. me and him is already long long long ago! if you ever realise that. why he means alot to me?? first, cause he was around me during the period of time when i really needed someone alot alot. if you dont know about the past i shall explain everything to you. during sec one, everyone detested me. cause of my fucking attitude, i've got no friend or anything. go to school is a total suffer for me. when i got no friend. he was there to cheer me up, he is the only person there to talk to me or any thing when others called him not to. but he were still pei-ing me through the whole journey. dhen me and him get together, he was the first one that showed me what is love, care and concern. my parents never showed that to me before. last time, my relationship with my parents was really lousy. im always rebelious, i rebel against them and everything. i started smoking everything cause im really stress dhen he appeared in my life, brightens up my life, changed my attitude and everything dhen slowly my relationship with my friends and parents got better. this is why i said he meant alot to me. but now me and him never talk to each other anymore because i've hurt him. in class, we totally never talk to each other or anything. so now you understand??

only you gave 100% to the relationship?? you think i dont?? if i dont, i would not bother to msg you or called you or meet you. im always finding time to spent with you. but because of basketball you neglected me. did you realised that?? yesterday i wanted to tell you that my mum called you to join in the bbq with us today to celebrate my sis birthday at east coast park, area b pit 4 at 4pm. after reading this, if you think you want to get the relationship back, come find me there. cause i want the relationship back. i really hope that i can see you there. cause i need you in my life and i love you.

qiaoxian.

Labels: i sae i will win him means i will #09